Raising Your Multilingual Child

1. My mother tongue: Tamil

2. Vivek’s mother tongue: Bengali

3. Vivek speaks with his parents in:Punjabi (as he grew up in Punjab)

4. We converse amongst ourselves in: English and Hindi

5. Language of our current U.S. environment: English

Do the math. That’s 5 languages, which is way too many for any child. We are scared Ananya could end up fluent in none, let alone master any language. The problem is compounded by the fact that we, her parents, cannot speak each other’s mother tongues.

When she was six months old, her cooing slowly gave way to imitating sounds. Friends commented that she would learn to talk fast. Count that on dad’s gift of the gab.

But I am bedeviled by apprehensions and contradictory, usually unsolicited, advice from friends and neighbors. Multilingual environment affects a child’s IQ. She will not learn how to talk properly even in one language and be confused all the time. Talk to her in just one language.

I am intimidated by prospect of our daughter talking to us in Tamil, Bengali, English and Hindi all in one sentence or if she asks, “Pa’s language or Ma’s?

So, I decided it was time to go on a war footing to determine the facts on the right approach to raising children in a multilingual environment. I know that Vivek and I are not from different planets. The consoling fact is that we are not alone as the frequency of inter-state marriages is growing rapidly in India giving rise to millions of multi-lingual and multi-cultural Indian homes.

Ananya is now 10 months old. I had drawn up a plan on teaching her all the languages we want her to learn over time. I can proudly say that I am already partly successful as she responds to my Tamil and Vivek’s Hindi statements.

Here are some tips based on the plan I drafted when she was six months old, based on my extensive research on the cognitive abilities of children growing up in bilingual or multilingual environments worldwide.

One person, one language:

From the day Ananya was born, I have been talking to her in Tamil. So that left Vivek to decide which one he would opt for – Hindi, Punjabi or Bengali. He settled on Hindi. It helps when a language is reinforced. Visits from the family, such as grandparents, help the child relate to the language of both her parents. Family agreement on one person, one language is essential as a partner may sometimes fear exclusion from the conversation or be insecure if a language they don’t understand is used frequently with the child. This didn’t prove difficult for us because of the trust we share and it is providing us a good opportunity to learn each other’s languages, something we hadn’t been able to do in five years of marriage.

Exposure to the language of the environment occurs naturally with the babysitter or other kids in playschool. Listening to and comprehending the language from people other than the parent is beneficial to a kid. But sometimes, as parents, we grossly underestimate their ability to grasp.   

Add another language gradually:

Sometimes when kids learn to speak two languages well, over eager parents add another language. Do not overwhelm them; add a new language only when you feel your child is completely fluent in the first set of languages. Every child is unique, but research shows that a language cannot be learnt unless it is spoken atleast 30% of the child’s waking time. So the native languages can be spoken at home and you can keep English for a later age. English comes naturally to kids once they start school and should not be a matter of concern. They tend to pick it up with enough exposure at school and while playing with friends.

Reinforcing minority languages:

Sometimes it is important to use other media to reinforce the language that is spoken least. If you are the only person talking to your kid in a particular language, then you can take the aid of videos, TV or music to increase your child’s exposure to that language.

Language her parents talk in:

Kids observe and relate to the language their parents speak regularly. So it is important for the parents to agree that they will talk in a single language amongst themselves. Mixing English and Hindi in multilingual families is common, but it will do little good for your child in the initial years. It was difficult for me initially to work with Tamil with Ananya in Vivek’s presence. I made a conscious effort and it is effortless now.

No more gibberish:

Talking slowly and in full sentences like an adult helps the child understand the language. Parents may feel good mouthing words that sound nice but carry no meaning to their infants. Kids respond merrily to “quack- quack” and “bow-bow,” but reserve those for playtime. At all other times, converse with them as you would with an adult. For instance, saying “No. 2” or other such words for potty only delays the learning process.

Be patient:

Often parents who raise bilingual or multilingual children say their kids start speaking later, but are able to converse in all languages quite fluently. I persist talking in Tamil to Ananya even if I get no response from her, whatsoever. Sure, it seems like I make a fool of myself sometimes, but I didn’t give up and the fruits of my effort are paying off. She now responds to “open your mouth,” “it’s sleep time,” “let’s take a bath,” etc. So it is just a matter of time. Do not compare your child with others who start talking earlier, as they might be exposed to just one language. This only de-motivates you and your child.  Encourage and applaud your child on his first words. Remember, children are like a sponge that absorbs the most, slowly and with patience. Make it fun for them and not another agenda item on your checklist.

You will be glad, sooner than later, that you waited to hear him say, “I love you mama” in your language and “I love you papa” in your husband’s.