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It’s past 11 p.m. when I arrive at my friend’s place in one of the new, ultra-posh apartment-buildings in an area that just about qualifies as South Mumbai. She just moved in a month ago, so she’s hosting a grand house-warming complete with cigars, sushi, champagne and socialites. The party’s buzzing. It’s certainly an occasion to celebrate, considering that my friend has waited almost three years past the date she had been promised delivery of her flat.
I’m late. I apologize, and my kind friend sympathizes. She knows her building’s not easy to find, especially if, like me, one isn’t familiar with the area. I could have stopped to ask for directions, but I was too afraid, especially since I’m wearing a gorgeous-but-completely-backless dress that I definitely didn’t want the shady lot loitering about the panwallah’s stall to see me in. And therefore I had been driving about in circles for at least 20 minutes, until I spotted the dim sign at the entrance to my friend’s new building…and then, I had to find a spot to park. But like all of my friend’s parties, this one too, was well worth the trouble. Music was playing at just the right decibels, the air-conditioners were working well and the conversation with the interesting blend of people present was fun and at-no-point dull. Waiting by the bar, for my glass of Chateau Lafite, I met a charming blonde gentleman who worked in some capacity or the other with one of the foreign banks. He had been in Mumbai for two-and-a-half years, he told me and he absolutely loved the place. Now I’m pretty big on my city and I’m always the first one to get worked up the minute someone complains about it, but even I was stunned by the affection this gentleman professed. Naturally, I enquired what he had been drinking, but then, upon sniffing his plain, un-diluted coke and realizing that he was quite sober, I was suddenly very curious to learn more. Like many other Indians, I too have family overseas, you see, and every time my aunts or cousins or distant who-knows-what visit, all I hear is, “The roads are so dirty,” and, “The theaters smell of hair-oil,” “The government-offices are so bureaucratic and there’s so much red-tape,” and, “No one cares about your time,” etc., etc., etc.. So naturally, I asked my blonde friend to explain his enthusiasm. “I’m a bachelor,” he said, which said it all. For Mr Banker, it turned out, lived in a one-bedroom-flat (or a 1BHK apartment as we refer to them here; BHK meaning Bedroom-Hall-Kitchen) in Bandra, which meant that his outgoings were not too high, plus, he spent most of his days at work and his nights partying with colleagues from work or other buddies, and we all know about Indian hospitality. No wonder he was having a blast here! He had a part-time maid who did the dishes, the cleaning and the laundry in the mornings before he set off to work, a Honda CRV for which he had the luxury of a covered parking space, and he had neither children nor full-time household-employees to worry about. Mr Banker had a good thing going and he knew it. Athreya Nambiar Nambiar is a homemaker and mother to six-year-old Ashvaty and travel has been a way of life for her small family for many years now. But Nambiar has nothing against travel or even relocation, which she accepts as a normal part of her husband’s chosen career. “Rajeev works with an airline” she explains, “and so in the last six years, we’ve lived in Doha, Dubai and Bahrain, before we moved here.”
I ask her about her Mumbai-experience and the vivacious lady is happy to give me a detailed account. “It’s a nice place to live in,” Nambiar says sweetly, “but initially it took a little getting-used to.” At the top of her complaints, common to most expatriates, NRIs and foreigners – the exorbitant price of Mumbai’s real-estate. Housing: “It’s very expensive,” Nambiar says, rolling her eyes, “and it’s not just the expense, but the fact that you pay so much, and you’re still not getting the quality that you’re used to, or that you should get…and that you expect to get, for the price you’re paying.” Nambiar’s family was putting up at the Taj Willington Mews in Colaba for the first few months after their arrival, until they found a place of their own. “That was expensive too,” says Nambiar, recalling her stay at the serviced apartments, maintained by the Taj Group “but the apartment and the service provided were nice, so it was a good experience all-in-all. The building had a lovely crèche and even our neighbors were very nice people.” “Average rental for a flat in Mumbai – in this part of South Mumbai at least – is about $7,000 to $9,000 dollars,” says Nambiar, recalling just how shocked she was the first time she heard about the prices, “and look what you get for it! In Dubai, we were staying in a 3,500-square-foot villa for much less than what we’re paying here, and the villa was excellently maintained with manicured lawns and the complex even housed a pool.” I thought of my friend’s new apartment, for which she had paid $700,000 three years ago, even though she just got “delivery” of her flat a month back. She told me that her flat was worth twice as much now. It was a beautiful building, I had to admit, but her apartment was a mere 1000-sq. ft. (super built-up that is, which means it had a carpet area of only about 800 sq. ft.). Rental on apartments in her building were about $4,500 a month, but the building did offer a pool. I mentioned it to Nambiar, wondering if it would be considered a good deal. She considered it for a minute. “But Prabhadevi’s so far away!” she exclaimed finally, “It’s at least half an hour to forty-minute’s drive from there to any good school.” The School: “I didn’t really have a problem finding a school for my daughter,” says Nambiar, turning to look at her bright-eyed daughter Ashvaty, who is busy playing in the apartment’s balcony with a school-friend she has over for a play-date. “I have some relatives here who found out about good schools and spoke to the administration about a place for my daughter well before we got here,” she says, thanking her luck for having such family-connections. Ashvaty is studying in an all-girls’ convent school in Colaba, and bright-eyed Ashvaty claims to be quite satisfied with both, the school and the level of education, though she confesses, “There is a lot more academic pressure on a child in an Indian school as compared to an International school.” Kids’ Recreation: “Malls here aren’t equipped with play-areas for kids like they are in the Middle-East and in fact recreation for children is very limited. All you can do is take them for a movie or to eat at restaurants.” Nambiar was glad that there are at least a few parks and gardens where children go to play in the evenings. “It’s very important, especially since most of the buildings don’t have any space for the children to cycle or run-around in.”
Staff: I ask Nambiar if she is glad to be able to employ household-staff at such economical rates. It is one of the bright spots I always hear my relatives rave about. “Well,” Nambiar takes a moment to compare it to her previous experiences and says, “I lived in the Middle-East and you can hire staff there at fairly decent rates as well, so that’s never really been a big treat for me.” Then, smiling, she adds, “In fact, one of the things that I find most frustrating here – aside from the traffic – is the fact that no one values your time.” Here it comes. I prepare myself. “If a handyman tells you to expect him at one `o clock in the afternoon to fix an air-conditioner or to put up a curtain, in Mumbai, that means that the person will show up – hopefully – at some point within a 24-hour-period.” Nambiar laughs, “You would be lucky if the repair-man comes over by six in the evening!” I have to admit, if I’m invited to lunch at 12:30, I know I wouldn’t even dream of leaving home till 1:30 p.m.. I don’t tell Nambiar this though. No point in shocking the poor lady. Kavita Bafna Kavita Bafna is a born-and-bred New Yorker who spent some years in Chicago after her marriage. She moved to Mumbai some 18 months ago with her husband and her twin boys, Soham and Samay. I It meant that Bafna’s perspective would still be fresh. Having lived in Mumbai for so many years and having watched many people move here, if there’s one thing I can assure you of, it is that no matter how much you hate Mumbai at first, given time, you will grow to love it here … eventually anyway. Bafna’s viewpoint, I was certain, would not be tainted with that, “you-gotta-love-it” spirit … not yet anyway! “I live in Walkeshwar,” says Bafna in a strong American accent, switching to an impeccable Indian one when she pauses mid-sentence to address her children’s nanny in Hindi. Returning to our conversation, she confesses, “I have to tell you, it was quite hard for me at first.” Bafna is grateful that her husband had visited Mumbai earlier and found an apartment for them before she arrived. “But it was more complicated then one might expect,” she says about the house-hunting nightmare.
Housing: “There’re a lot of issues to be considered when one buys an apartment here – like, for one thing, the society should be a good one,” by which she means things like building maintenance, renovations, etc. “Parking is another problem,” she says, shocked that many buildings don’t provide it. “It’s strange that the prices of apartments are just like New York over here, yet nothing about the buildings are.” Schools: “There’s a huge waiting-list for all the good schools,” Bafna exclaims. The young mother-of-two is absolutely exasperated by the state-of-affairs at local schools and she simply fails to understand why the management at so many top-of-the-line establishments need to be chased to get anything done. “It’s not like you can just register and then wait for the school to get back to you,” she says, “You have to keep calling them back, over and over, to enquire whether your child has or has not been accepted.” I bite my lip because I have two children of my own and it all rings true. Then, just when it all sounded so bleak, Bafna says, “But everyone at the schools are so nice and I’m so happy with the nursery my children go to now.”
Recreation: Bafna loves the social-life in Mumbai, although she had a hard time making friends initially. Explaining how she overcame the problem, she says, “Well, since I have two kids, I got to know the school-mums and became a part of a great expat-mum’s group called Hopping Bunnies and then gradually, I started making friends with my children’s friends’ mothers.” But Bafna is not as thrilled about her children’s outings as she is about her own. “When I was in New York, I’d just take the kids to the Met or to the Natural History Museum or even just to Central Park, but I can’t do that here. There’s just nowhere that you can really take the kids for an outing.” Pet-peeves: Healthcare and hygiene in Mumbai are a real sore point for Bafna, who had visited the clinics of some of the city’s most prominent pediatricians when one of her boys had an ear-infection. “They just couldn’t diagnose it correctly and instead kept prescribing antibiotics for my son,” says a rather upset Bafna, “and then one of them even suggested Ayurvedic medicine,” she scoffs. “I have never used that stuff before and I’m just not comfortable with it.” After that experience, her family plans to travel every so often so they can take care of such issues in the United States. Cat-Calls: Ever congenial, Bafna smiles sweetly when I ask her if she has ever been bothered by cat-calls. “Well, sometimes people stare when I go jogging with my stroller in tow, but I think that that’s just because it is not something they usually see.” She doesn’t really mind it anymore, “You tend to get used to it and then you just learn to ignore things like that.” She offer this advice: “You can’t keep comparing Mumbai to wherever you have come from because in many ways it’s really great, but in many others it will disappoint, so if you want to make this your home, you have to learn to turn a blind-eye to certain issues that may have otherwise bothered you. My husband Nakul and I love our whole Mumbai-experience. It’s turning out to be quite an adventure for us.” Victoria Hepworth
New Zealander Victoria Hepworth met her British husband in Shanghai and married him in Sweden. She is one lady who really gets around. Hepworth stays in Dubai now, but was stationed in Mumbai between 2007 and 2008 when her husband’s career had required it. Hepworth is as a cross-cultural psychologist, specializing in expatriate support now, which makes perfect sense to me, considering how much time she has spent as an expatriate herself. Social Life: Like Bafna, Hepworth too, seemed to have made her social connections through expatriate groups. “Expat groups in Mumbai are incredibly warm, welcoming and are wonderful resources. After attending a few of their meetings, you meet people who you choose to see outside of these groups.” But Hepworth didn’t seem to share Bafna’s opinion on Mumbai’s night-life. Quite to the contrary, “There really isn’t much to do in Mumbai on the weekends.” Too much to handle: Hepworth found it very difficult to constantly bear witness to the extreme poverty all around the city, “Slums everywhere, homeless children roaming the streets and beggars – this can be very painful.” But there were other problems too – ones she faced on a more regular basis. “I found everyday life in Mumbai difficult,” says Hepworth honestly, “Grocery shopping was very time-consuming and not user friendly at all.” Most grocery-shopping is done by dialling the local bania (provision store). There are a few supermarkets in the city, but they’re not likely to be, “around-the-corner” from you anytime in the near future. “Due to Hindu and Muslim religions, food shopping can take a while if you are looking to stock your freezer with standard western fare,” Hepworth warns potential movers. “Pork, beef, and dairy products are all sold in separate shops from canned goods and fruits and vegetables,” she says, “and usually with an hour-long-ride in traffic from one shop to the other. I hadn’t seen that coming at all.” Her worst experience? “Traffic is impossible,” But Hepworth was also irritated with the density of Mumbai’s population. “I felt trapped some days and frustrated that I could not go outside easily or pleasantly. Many, many, many people everywhere all the time … limited footpaths … chaotic and dangerous driving … people living on the streets … and yes, people stare!” Advise: “Prepare yourself that this is going to be completely different and not one aspect of life in Mumbai will be the same as wherever you are moving from.” Hepworth recommends doing research on the city and what it has to offer before making the big move: “Get in touch with expatriate groups there before you arrive and ask as many questions as you need to.” And because upset stomach is common in India, Hepworth recommends that foreigners be extra vigilant about obvious hygiene routines. “Carry antiseptic wipes with you and have your health insurance and medical evacuation coverage up to date.” She also cautions visitors about India’s notorious bureaucracy, “Be prepared to stand in queues to get the necessary paperwork done.” She recommends picking up a copy of The Namaskar Guide, which, she claims, is a savior and a definite must-have for anybody moving to Mumbai and she also recommends the website expatwomen.com, saying it has a lot of valuable information and advice to offer anyone relocating. Loves: For all her criticisms, Hepworth loves much about the city. “Business is booming in Mumbai, opportunities are endless and there seems to be a tremendous appetite for growth and success,” she says, making Mumbai sound … well … exactly like it is. “It is great to see so many different types of people, dialects, religions and socio-economic groups living in harmony in this massive city,” she says, bursting with positive energy. “Indian food in India is something else,” Hepworth smiles, “you could eat for years and never have the same dish twice!” So there you have it – the good, the bad and the ugly. But if you’re having a hard time, don’t worry. Your Mumbai-based relatives will be happy to put up with you for as long as it takes, because despite it all, if there’s one thing we Mumbaiites can really do well, it’s play host.
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Mumbai, Through NR-Eyes
