| Soft Spots of a Tough Girl
By Hema Nair
Anita Pratap reports from the some of the
most dangerous regions in the world.
Writing Island of
Blood, an account of her experiences as a frontline
reporter in Sri Lanka, Afghanistan, and Kashmir, was
not a spur-of-the moment decision for veteran journalist
Anita Pratap. As long back as 1987, Pratap remembers
David Davidar, the head of Penguin books in India,
urging her to put down her thoughts and insights into
a work of non fiction.
"At that point, I was still jumping from place to
place pursuing stories," says Pratap. "I did not have
the time to sit down and pour myself into a book.
I was visiting all these regions of conflict and witnessing
so much violence and waste that I did not want to
come home and confront them again. My defense mechanism
was to put whatever horrors I had seen aside, finish
my reports and then come home to my family. Neither
my son or my parents had a clue to the things I had
seen and I never told them. They would have been petrified
each time I went to cover a story. "
Clearly, Pratap did not intend to waste time being
petrified. Ed Turner, the vice president of CNN, had
obviously sized her up accurately, for he once remarked,
when asked why he had hired her, that he knew she
was " a tough girl."
In her 22 year career as a reporter, Pratap has shown
an amazing talent for being in some of the most dangerous
regions in the world and coming face to face with
some of the most powerful and some of the most helpless
people of our times. She has met several times with
V. Pirabhakaran, the guerrilla chief of the Liberation
Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE), interviewed Shiv Sena's
fiery leader Bal Thackeray, and conversed regularly
with the likes of Rajiv Gandhi, K.P. Gill, Sesham
to name a mere handful.
She has also seen the human pain that result from
war. Pratap has witnessed the desperation of women
like Zubaida, a poor widow who had to risk her life
to feed her young children in a Taliban regime that
forbade women to work and stoned them to death if
they were found earning a livelihood . And she has
viewed the stark poverty of a fisherman in Sri Lanka
who was driven to disobey the Indian army's orders
to move about and risk being shot, to go and catch
some fish to feed his family.
As the South Asia Bureau Chief of CNN, a position
she held till January 1999, Pratap reported on all
the major new stories in Asia, including the nuclear
tests, the ethnic war in Sri Lanka, the Taliban takeover
of Afghanistan, conflicts in India's Kashmir and North
East. Before joining CNN, she worked eight years as
a correspondent for Time magazine, and before that,
worked as a reporter for India Today, and for Sunday,
which is where she made her mark with her reports
from Colombo, Sri Lanka, on the 1983 riots that targeted
local Tamils and Indians.
The idea of writing a book about her experiences germinated
however, in the back of her mind. In 1990, when her
son went off to law college, Pratap found herself
alone at home and hating it. Instead of pining for
her son, she decided to start a new life and got married
to Arne Walther, the Norwegian ambassador to India.
Soon after that, Pratap traveled to Oslo, Norway for
a six-month stay.
"It was the first time in my life that I had so much
free time," she laughs. And all those sights and scenes
pushed away deep in her head began to tumble out.
Walking along a narrow, winding mountain path in Norway,
she almost bumps into a rosy-cheeked young boy on
his bike. Pratap found herself remembering Afghanistan,
another mysterious mountain region she had gone too.
But there the young men she had seen did not have
flushed, healthy faces. Their faces were charred with
explosions or lined with suffering.
She began work on the book and although the chapters
started piling up, the book developed in a manner
that was not quite what Davidar had envisioned. "David
wanted a straight-on book. An account of my days in
the jungles of Sri Lanka interviewing Pirabhakaran,
or sneaking into Afghanistan in a burqa to reveal
the atrocities of the Taliban regime," says Pratap.
"But I found that I had to write about my daily, normal
life too: holidaying with Arne on a cruise ship in
Norway or enjoying a road trip with my son, Zubin.
These were the happy, carefree times of my life, the
underpinning, if you will, of my life as a hardcore
reporter. And my life was worthwhile because of these
joyous moments. I talked about my experiences while
doing the story, but I also talked about what was
happening in my own life."
Pratap convinced
Davidar to keep the book exactly as she had written.
And her conviction was vindicated when the book came
out in India in October 2001. " My book sold out in
six days," she gloats. "Ordinary people really related
to my instinct to juxtapose the ordinary with the
horrific events that I saw. They wanted the story
behind the story." Initially, Pratap had no intention
of the book being published outside India. "With my
experience at Time and CNN, I know how to write for
an international audience, but my book was primarily
meant for Indians," she says. "But in the aftermath
of September 11, I realized that the things I talk
about in my book were very relevant in the US too."
The events described in the book still have the power
to move her to tears. These include the gruesome sight
of seven young men, tortured with their throats slit,
tied together with burning car tires around each neck
lying in the middle of the road in Kandy, Sri Lanka
; the young vegetable seller in Kabul, Afghanistan,
whose skin suffered ninety-eight per cent burns when
he was caught in a gunfire ; and the screaming faces
of children searching for their mothers during the
riots that shook Bombay in the aftermath of the destruction
of Babri Masjid.
While writing the book, Pratap frequently found herself
trembling and weeping as she relived the images that
had been hidden in her brain. And when she talked
to people during her book tour in India, Pratap could
not stop her tears as she narrated some of her experiences.
"All the terrible things I saw affected me. I'm not
the stereotypical, hard bitten, cynical journalist,"
she says. "The cruel scenes I have witnessed have
been gouged deep in my consciousness."
As a journalist she may have repressed her personal
trauma at seeing the torn limbs of children and the
bits and pieces of body parts of suicide bombers and
concentrated on getting her article out, but Pratap
values her sensitivity highly. So much so, that on
the day that CNN asked her to go to Bombay to cover
a bomb explosion, when Pratap's first, unschooled
reaction was not horror or sorrow, but a tired "Not
again. Not another bomb," she decided to resign. She
knew then that her days of going out in the field
and hunting down the story were over.
"I believe that there are two things that are bad
for a journalist: to stagnate or to be cynical," says
Pratap. " My reaction told me that fatigue had set
in. My mind was not focusing on the horror or the
pain to humanity but my own tired brain. It was time
to call it quits."
She had lasted over 20 years as a field reporter,
the only female journalist of her generation to have
done so. While her colleagues had left the field and
moved up the career ladder, to well-paid desk positions
once they got married and had children, Pratap had
continued to move in the frontlines of war, unexcited
by the thought of sitting down and working. "I always
need to move, to be active and ready to travel," she
says.
Pratap's guardian angel must have been equally hyperactive
doing those busy years. Her need to keep moving in
areas where she had to dodge bullets could have ended
Pratap's career very abruptly. She came close to dying
numerous times, always rescued at the last second,
some times by just turning her head and missing the
bullet that went past."Why did I move my head at that
precise moment?"wonders Pratap. "Why was the jeep
I was traveling in stopped just before it would have
gone over a land mine?" She attributes it to divine
protection and to her survivor instinct. "All of us
have that instinct," she stresses."Especially women,
even the most sheltered ones, because they are very
canny and have a strong will to live."
Pratap hopes that readers of her book will come away
with a deeper appreciation of the normal, every day
blessings of life. "That's what kept me centered all
those years I was out there covering death and destruction,"
she says. "I had a home, a family to come back to.
And they taught me to celebrate the ordinary." These
days Pratap concentrates on writing opinion pieces
for magazines and bringing out documentaries, which
she directs, reports, scripts and narrates on such
diverse topics as Indian dance and music and the remarkable
transformation of Mizoram from an insurgent state
to a model democracy.
When she reflects on her days as a field reporter
it is with a sense of satisfaction and pride. "I was
a trail blazer," Pratap agrees, with a smile."But
at that time, all I knew was that I was doing my job.
Today I am proud that I did it by sheer hard work,
with no godfather in the profession to help me up."
She has no regrets, she insists about her life, not
even her failed marriage, for not only did it give
her son, Zubin, but led her to move with him to Madras
and begin working as a correspondent for Sunday magazine,
the starting point of her famous career.
Pratap is not about to sit still and dwell on her
laurels though. She is working on a second book, another
non fiction, this time about a tiny Indian village
untouched by all the amenities that the modern society
takes for granted.
"I'll be busy with my second book for the next two
years. I never plan beyond a week, anyway," she laughs.
"So I just plan to keep going and doing what I have
to do."
- Hema Nair
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