| But when he narrated the
role of B.B. Pradhan a retired elderly
school principal whose only son has died
in the USA, the dilemma that faces an
elderly couple suddenly rendered childless,
overwhelmed with hopelessness as they
struggle to retrieve the ashes of their
child, refusing to bribe a corrupt system,
I knew this was the role of a lifetime.
I was like a man possessed.
I would wake up early in the morning
at the crack of dawn, go to Shivaji Park
and watch the children play for hours.
I would then take out the picture of my
imaginary dead son, wipe it with the edge
of my shirt look at it longingly and put
it back in my pocket.
This went on for 6 months and then one
of my friends showed up at my place and
said "I just heard the role is being
given to Sanjiv Kumar." I called
Mahesh Bhatt and he said, "Uh well
I am sorry Anupam, Rajshri Productions
decided they didn't want to risk their
money on a new comer and would prefer
a star.. Anyway you can have the second
lead, an equally good role of the other
old man." I packed all my meager
belongings, took a cab and climbed all
the way to the 6th floor where Mahesh
Bhatt lived since even the elevators decided
to give up on me. As I entered his apartment
he said "Hello Anupam. I am glad
you are taking it so sportingly. Sanjiv
Kumar is a star and both of you have theater
backgrounds, you will create magic together."
I said "Stop it. I am leaving because
you are a fraud and a cheat. You sit here
giving me lectures on integrity, and for
the past six months you have promised
this role to me. Now you have the audacity
to say I should do the other so called
'equally good role,' because you don't
have the guts to tell Rajshri productions
only Anupam will do this role. And let
me tell you something, even Sanjiv Kumar
cannot do this role better than me."
I paused dramatically, and then said,
"I'm leaving this town for good,
but I'm cursing you, the curse of a Brahmin!"
And as I stormed down with theatrical
gusto, he yelled from the top, "Come
back you duffer, you will play the lead."
Mahesh Bhatt means the world to me. He
taught me to be myself, because in a world
of hypocrisy, he is truly a man who has
the courage to take home truths in his
stride. I never looked back after that.
That film netted me the best actor award
from Filmfare along with several others.
Sanjiv Kumar saw that film and with tears
in his eyes said "I couldn't have
done this role better, Anupam".
Did it go to your head?
Yes it did. Suddenly I was the happening
star, signing film after film, shooting
hour after hour. It became a running joke
that you cannot make a film without two
things these day, raw stock and Anupam
Kher. Once I was shooting for a film down
south and arrived fashionably late at
10 a.m. when shooting was to start at
9, to find that the air conditioning in
my make up room wasn't working. I threw
a starry tantrum and refused to work until
that was fixed. I was told the hero had
been waiting in full make-up for me for
an hour and I asked "Who is the hero?."
"Amitabh Bachchan" was the answer.
I went out to find the legendary super
star seated on a chair, wearing a wig,
a beard, and a blanket wrapped around
him reading a book. Sheepishly and totally
in awe, I approached him, introduced myself
and said "Sir, aren't you feeling
hot? The air-conditioning isn't working".
He looked up from his book and said "Anupam
when I think about heat I feel hot, if
I don't, then I don't."
The other humbling experience came when
the National Awards were announced. They
are the Indian Oscars. You win one and
it means you are the best of the best.
I was extremely confident I would get
it for Saraansh and had even invited Mr.
Bachchan to join me for a celebratory
dinner after the announcements. I lay
in my room, a glass of Johnny Walker black
label whisky, raised in the air to toast
my triumph, the news reader smiled her
dimpled smile and said "This year's
national award goes to..." I said
thank you darling, and she went on "
Naseeruddin Shah for Paar. The raised
celebratory glass took 20 minutes to come
down!
How easy was it to do roles like
Saraansh at 27 when you were not an old
man, the role of Daddy where you played
Pooja Bhatt's alcoholic father when you
didn't have a child? Was it tough starting
at the top with such an amazing role like
Saaransh and then working your way through
so many movies that were not of that level.
Well, to answer the first part of the
question, I guess it's the job of an actor
to deliver. I haven't raped anyone in
real life but I have done rape scenes
in films. You either have an emotional
treasure box of memories that you delve
into or you have to have a rich imagination
and astute skills of observation. I have
both, plus I read a lot. Unless I have
to portray a historical character or act
as an alien, I really don't have to do
a lot of homework for my roles. This is
a façade a lot of actors put up
saying, oh I am working so hard to get
my teeth into the role, the emotional
graph of my character and it requires
so much homework. But in truth, my job
is no different from anyone else.
Just like there are good bad or mediocre
carpenters, there are good bad or mediocre
actors. As for not finding roles like
Saaransh, for a long time, I felt the
process of work was more important than
the end result. I was never so presumptuous
to think that I was going to be that one
man to change the face of the Indian cinema
and I never took myself seriously. I was
happy to be working, and didn't bemoan
the fact that oh out of the 300 films
I have done so far 250 films were rubbish.
I can spend my life wishing I was born
in Bill Gates' house or that I wish I
was Jack Nicholson. Instead I think God
has been very kind to me. How many people
from all over the world come to Bollywood
to make it in films and survive for over
20 years as I have done and I'm still
here! But I have to admit that Daddy came
to me at a time when I was beginning to
feel a sense of degradation as an actor.
The intial euphoria of making it, doing
so many films, being wanted by all the
producers and directors, working with
all those big stars was dying, and I started
evaluating my work and myself as an actor,
feeling rather miserable at the poor quality
of work I was doing. When Mahesh narrated
the story of Daddy I was working almost
round the clock, doing 25-30 films at
the same time, but the need to do this
film and reaffirm my faith in myself as
an actor of substance was overwhelming.
I told Bhatt sahib, I will give you two
hours during every shooting. The film
was made under ridiculous circumstances,
but turned out so well because Bhatt sahib
had my complete concentration for those
two hours.
Not too many people know that you
had a breakdown a few years later and
suffered facial paralysis.
It was almost 10 years into being in
films. I had made 200 films by then and
was working at a break neck speed. One
night while I was having dinner at Anil
Kapoor's house, his wife said "Anupam
you are not blinking from one eye."
I went to the hospital and was told I
had facial paralysis and needed life saving
drugs and it would take months to recover.
I was shooting for Hum Apke Hain Kaun.
That day as I was returning from the hospital,
people looking at my face, laughed thinking
I was perhaps making that face in preparation
for a role. It took several months of
electric currents therapy to get back
to normal. In spite of being so optimistic,
I was not happy. I was beginning to feel
I was rusting as an actor and a human
being, but then in India you are not a
happening actor if you don't have movies.
That episode made me realize, there is
much more to life than cinema and acting.
I started teaching at Dilkhush School,
an institution for mentally challenged
kids every Wednesday and traveled from
all over the world to be there each week
for one year. and I have been working
now with down trodden children for the
last 7-8 years.
Your first directorial venture Om
Jai Jagdish flopped.
I honestly feel I did a good job, but
I didn't have a fully bound script in
my hands when we started and so we shot
as we went along and that is obvious when
you view it. The producer Vashu Bhagnani
was in a hurry to start the film because
we had managed to get the dates of all
the stars, which is hard to come by these
days. Also all the three heroes, Anil
Kapoor, Abhishek Bachchan and Fardeen
Khan had had major flops just before the
film started, plus that year nobody went
to see films in theatres. People liked
it tremendously when they saw it on television.
But on the flip side, I am very excited
about the fact that the film Bariwali
which I produced and which netted my wife
Kiran her second national award as Best
Actress, has received so much national
and international acclaim. It was made
under great financial constraints. I'm
also directing my next film, which took
me one year to write. It's in English
and called The Return. It is to be shot
in New York and is a story about a father
and son.
How has the film industry changed
in the past two decades that you have
been there?
I think this is the most exciting phase
of Indian film industry because the audience
is so educated today. With the onslaught
of satellite channels and globalization
people know that you don't have to make
films only for a lower middle class audience.
In the last two years 90 percent films
flopped because it's a transition period.
The advent of the multiplexes has
also been a boon.
Exactly. It allows film makers to make
small budget films with original themes
and reach the kind of audience that enjoys
these kind of films and Art House cinema
is now a reality. Also I think it gives
work and creative satisfaction to a certain
kind of actor. Not everyone who does parallel
cinema can act in commercial masala movies.
The camera does not lie and exposes you
easily. For any actor to portray things
he or she doesn't believe in is a much
greater challenge than doing cinema you
can empathize with. Amitabh Bachchan and
Shahrukh Khan are superstars, because
they make the unrealistic look realistic.
When you talk to either of them, you know
their personal sensibilities are so different
than what they portray on bollywood screens,
but they make it all so believable. I
always tell the drama students that graduate
from NSD, if you wish to do well in commercial
cinema please leave your intellectual
sensibilities at home. You may have lived
in the world of Tennessee William and
Arthur Miller, but in Bollywood you will
have to speak lines like array ja kuttey,
kameeney, main tere jaise hazaron ko dekh
loonga (go you cur, I have seen and handled
thousands of scumbags like you) lines
you have not learnt anywhere. Your own
knowledge will then become a burden on
you. So it's great that today these people
too, can carve a niche in parallel cinema
if they need to.
Also in the last 20 years, if I was lucky,
I got a fully bound script for may be
five films. In the last two years I have
got fully bound scripts for 300 films
and while these may not be awesome films,
at least people are understanding and
appreciating the discipline of cinema
and the fact that you cannot write dialogues
on a piece of paper or an empty packet
of cigarette and say here these are the
dialogues for the next scene. So many
times, I have ended up writing the dialogues
for many of my roles.
You said that when you did Bend it
Like Beckham it was like being in an acting
workshop.
Bend it Like Beckham began the second
phase of my life as an actor. I decided
I must wipe the slate clean and start
from scratch and do only meaningful films
that give me creative satisfaction. For
that I must unload my baggage of being
Anupam Kher. Today whichever film I am
acting in, whether it's Chess or Bride
and Prejudice I approach it as a new comer.
It adds freshness to my work. Being competent
is your biggest enemy. If you are competent
you cannot be brilliant. If you tell yourself,
I know nothing then you give yourself
the potential to excel.
Life has come a full circle now that
you have been appointed the Chairman of
the National School of Drama. What have
been the changes there and in theater
since you were a student?
I think to be a student at this amazing
institution and then to finally return
many years later as the chairman, has
been my greatest achievement. I personally
feel a little disillusioned at what I
see today at NSD. I don't think we have
teachers of the same caliber or the same
enthusiasm among students. We need the
gurukul system here. You cannot say we
are serious committed students of drama
but we must have time to play football
also. I hope I can change that before
my term gets over. Unfortunately there
are no writers in Hindi theater which
is rather sad. That is why this play Kuch
Bhi Ho Sakta Hai is an original play.
After Mohan Rakesh and Surinder Verma,
there has been a huge void because all
the writers are writing for cinema as
it is more lucrative and that will remain
a struggle. I think nationally both English
and Hindi theater can be in a much better
situation than it is. Regional theater
on the other hand is very rich..
Well looks like you have created
some waves after being appointed Chairman
of the Indian Censor Board. People didn't
like your insistence that only movies
with a G certificate be shown on television.
My major problem has been with the music
videos which have been very explicit and
also the double standards where Doordarshan,
the government run television channel
cannot show R-rated movies, but privately
owned satellite channels can show anything.
Anyone going to the cinema theater knows
what he will be watching since the films
carry a certificate but a child of 10
or 11 can surf any TV channel he wants.
India does not consist of just the big
metropolitan cities. Ninety percent of
India lives in the interiors and the women
are subjected to a lot of humiliating
experiences when the men see explicit
stuff on television. Pardon my bluntness,
but opinions are like an a..hole, everybody
has one! I owe responsibility to the common
man more than I do to the intellectuals.
I would presume since they think they
are well informed they would know right
from wrong. As chairman, I believe I have
to see the large picture. I'm not worried
about getting popularity votes from the
media and the so called critics. I have
to do what I feel is morally right for
the three years that I'm at the helm.
I believe there is nothing like self censorship.
So what is in the works now?
Well I'm excited about directing my next
film and I think the kind of work I am
doing is very interesting. I have my autobiography
called Anything Can Happen - A Life coming
out in the fall. Gurinder Chaddha's magnum
opus Bride and Prejudice based on Jane
Austen's Pride and Prejudice is ready
for release, and I will be returning next
year with two plays, Kuch Bhi Ho Sakta
Hai, my autobiographical journey and Saalgirah
where I play husband to my wife Kiron.
Both have had very successful runs in
the U.S. and we are bringing them back
on popular demand. Both deal with failures
in life and how to overcome them. I think
failure teaches you far more than success
does. When I talked about mine, to cheers
and empathy, I felt I was the tallest
guy in the world. People try to frighten
you by saying they might expose your shortcomings
or your failures...but now what will they
frighten me with?
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