| Voices of a New Generation
Inaugurating our new youth column.
TV
or not TV
By
Anita Gupta
NAE!
I grew up in a pretty primitive environment, without
many modern conveniences. Forget cable, my family didn't
even subscribe to normal channels, like PBS, ABC, or
FOX! When I came home from an exhausting day of finger-painting
in preschool, I never had the option of relaxing before
a TV set and singing along to my favorite songs from
Barney and Friends. Imagine the humiliation of graduating
to Kindergarten and not knowing the words to "I love
you, you love me."
Sure, my parents had noble intentions. Maybe they didn't
want my young, impressionable mind to get any bad ideas.
But really, it's not like I'd grow up to be a convicted
felon because Barney taught me to deny stealing cookies
from the cookie jar when I was three. Or possibly there
were scared off by all the scientific studies linking
TV watching to brain decay.
Seriously, what elementary school kid doesn't know who
Big Bird is? I never witnessed Cookie Monster scarf
down chocolate chip cookies, or laughed as Elmo got
tickled. I never thought up ways to cheer up Oscar the
grouch, or wondered why Snuffleupagus was so furry.
The only reason I know about these television programs
now is because I begged my friends to educate my poor
ignorant self in the ways of the TV world. You should
have seen the looks on their faces when I told them
that I didn't know who Bart Simpson was. "Of course,"
they all asked, "you do know who Rachel from Friends
is, right?" I stared back blankly.
Now if they had asked me about the Spanish soap opera,
Los Amigos y Rivales, I could've given them the rundown
in a matter of seconds, complete with who's pregnant
with whose baby, and whose parents want who to run which
business. You see I'm not totally without modern amenities.
We do have one tiny box that my parents like to call
a TV. It's really an ancient set that's practically
an antique. It only picks up six channels, four of them
in Spanish. It has antennas, for crying out loud!
My parents may as well confine me to a rock cave, with
leopard skin clothes, where I paint pictures of wooly
mammoths on the walls! With our antiquated TV set, it
sure feels like we're living in the Stone Age. But hey,
on the bright side, I'm really improving my Spanish!
YEA!
If there is one thing my parents did right bringing
me up, it's banning TV in our house. Not for one moment
have I been jealous of friends with their 200 plus channels.
Sure they may have the pleasure of watching judges tear
apart aspiring singers on American Idol, but they also
lack a large vocabulary and critical reading skills.
While they sit in front of the tube all day letting
their minds atrophy, I engage in an activity that's
much more productive. I read.
Through books I have found the key to a world of adventure,
imagination, creation and wonder. No television show
or movie has ever given me what I find in books. I cry,
laugh, bite my nails during books just the same way
people do watching TV. The difference is that I use
my brain while doing so. I create the characters, I
imagine the settings and I experience the emotions.
No producers or directors are telling me what to think.
Although I didn't have Barney when I was in Preschool,
I had Dr. Seuss. There was no Sesame Street, but there
was The Bernstein Bears. Thank God I had The Chronicles
of Narnia instead of the Simpsons. The drama of CSI
is replaced with that of Mary Higgins Clark and Zena
the Warrior Princess doesn't come close to the sheer
adventure of The Lord of the Rings.
Television shows, although they can be amusing, never
leave a lasting impression on a viewer. I can't name
a single show I watched that lingered in my mind. When
I was reading Harry Potter, however, I absolutely couldn't
put it down. I practically know all the books by heart
and am eagerly awaiting the next one. When I read, as
I turn each page, a new dimension opens up to me; different
doors draw me through them. My mind explores the recesses
of a new uncharted universe that the words conjure up
for me. I'm not just reading an adventure, I am experiencing
it, which's not something you can get from The Practice.
What’s Up Yo!
By Nishita Narula
Growing up in America under the roofs of our conventional,
Indian parents, we've probably all faced the scene.
The scene trying to leave the house in midriff baring
shirts, atleast the females anyway. The scenes that
emerge from the conflict of parents' old fashioned mores
and our attempts to blend in with our first-generation
American counterparts. Ah, the scenes over education,
music, dating ....
While some parents may relent on the last two, I know
of few who can fathom that receiving a B in a completely
irrelevant class, such as horticulture, does not mean
that their child will lose that scholarship to Harvard
University, where she will undoubtedly study law, medicine,
or engineering. Says Jennifer, a 13-year-old girl from
Korea, "I'm not Indian, but I know that Korean and South
Asian values are extremely similar. No matter how adults
perceive teens, we do have an innate desire to succeed.
Many Asian parents push their children to succeed academically,
with the intent of their children rising above the rest,
becoming the best. This is understandable, but there
are limits to how hard you can push. Putting too much
stress on a child can give results opposite of those
that were intended.
"During the schooling years, the main focus in life
is to achieve perfect grades. To continually have one's
parents hovering around, constantly nagging about schoolwork
and reminding you that there is no time for slacking
anywhere is going to simply add more stress to an already
tumultuous teenage life."
There's a time and place for everything, they say. But
I'm afraid far too many Indian parents believe the "time"
is at age 30 and the "place" is in the mother's house.
Focusing on one facet of life will not allow children
to adjust socially in today's society, in a country
where people skills are just as important as intelligence.
This brings us to one people skill Indian parents would
do without - dating. No matter where one grows up, there
will come a point when one feels the flutterings of
the heart for someone of the opposite sex. Medically
speaking, this usually occurs during the teenage years,
and while I'm not condoning partaking in adult relations,
there's nothing wrong with spending time with a "significant
other."
I see dating as spending time with a friend who, at
that time, simply means more than anyone else - and
as long as one can keep the rest of one's life in perspective,
is there really anything wrong with that? Unfortunately,
the vast majority of South Asian parents are unable
to see it from this perspective and spend a great deal
of time and energy sheltering their children, telling
them who they can and cannot be with.
Niki (name changed), a teenage Indian girl, explains
how American and Indian "courting rituals" differ. "My
parents won't let me date, though I have before. Right
now, however, I don't really want to date anyone, because
I know it has to be an Indian guy, and face it, after
seeing Indian men like Arjun Rampal, the standards for
Indian males all lower." Eeks!
"And when you do find someone you like, it's just too
tiring, because you have to hide everything from your
parents. They see you talking to some guy and they'll
flip, so imagine what it would be like if they found
out you were going out with someone. And this isn't
just for girls; guys have to hide it too."
What's going to happen in college, when they have all
the freedom they could possibly want? They either won't
know what to do with it, or they just might jump off
the orbit. Most kids, however, will start earlier anyway
and just hide it from their parents. Maintaining open
relationships between the children and adults is surely
preferable.
Then, of course, there's entertainment. Our methods
of having fun are understandably very different from
what our parents' generation.
"I watch both American and Indian movies," says Maya
(name changed), who is 16. "I listen to both types of
music. My parents don't really like American music,
and they hate rap, because they just do. Eminem could
be saying 'Don't do drugs! Go to school! Be a good person!
Donate to charities!' but they'll be like 'TURN IT OFF!'
because it's rap. They want you to listen to classical,
old stuff, like Jagjit Singh or Lata Mangeshkar, and
if you decide to succumb and listen to it just to be
nice, they automatically assume it's your new favorite
thing, Even if you only listen to it, like, twice a
year."
I know of parents who go into a shell-shock because
they see kissing in an American movie and the actress
is wearing shorts, but what about Indian movies, in
which actresses are running around half naked? (And
in the snow!) Apparently that's okay, because there's
no lip contact involved. Many Indian parents prohibit
their children from watching R-rated movies, but I wonder
if they realize all the "explicit" things we are exposed
to in school. Oh, but wait. What were you doing listening
to the conversation of your peers; you're supposed to
be studying.
Fortunately, things are starting to loosen up a bit
in India, so maybe the adults here will loosen up as
well. Maybe, just maybe, we'll stop getting lectured
about our borderline A grades (and, in turn, classmates
will stop carping at us for wrecking the grade curve)
and the .4372 fraction of an inch of stomach skin we're
supposedly too young to show (it's not like we'll have
these flat stomachs when we're old). Maybe, just maybe,
they might finally get it that not all our music is
about drugs and sex.
You Know You’re Indian, If….
- You
arrive one or two hours late to a party and think
it's normal.
- You
peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service
didn't mark.
- Everyone
in your family has pet names, which sound nowhere
close to their real names.
- You
are standing next to the two largest suitcases at
the Airport.
- You
talk for an hour at the front door when leaving
someone's house.
- You've
seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.
- You
live with your parents and you are 40 years old.
(And they prefer it that way).
- When
your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes,
you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
- Your
parents don't realize phone connections to foreign
countries have improved in the last two decades,
and still scream at the top of their lungs when
making long distance calls.
- You
call any older person you've never met before "Auntie"
or "uncle."
To contribute to this column email us at:voices@littleindia.com
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